Is Time Fleeting?

Has Madness Taken Its Toll?

Basically both questions can have multiple answers depending upon one’s point of view or accompanying cast of characters.  For example, time may be fleeting, or downright interminable, either of which depends upon who you are sitting next to.  Of course the ability to ‘bend’ time or at least our thoughts on time itself (along with reality) have been studied a great deal (see Inception), or even conceptualized in physical reality with the concept of traveling very, very fast.  Of course Uncle Rico was one of the first to take this concept one step further as he invested in the ‘time machine’ that came with a warranty and everything else needed to send him back in time.  Just one thing was missing and that was the correct crystals needed to transform the sine/cosine waves into the third dimension allowing for the transfer of light through mass at the speed of, well at the speed of light and this of course (every MIT grad knows) will place you in the fourth dimension allowing for migration to the place and time of your choosing. 

Well the bottom line was, it didn’t work.  He had the wrong crystals, but it didn’t stop Uncle Rico from trying again.  And while we think the time travel device only caused pain in the groin for him, and Napoleon, somehow he did transmigrate from Preston Idaho to an island LOST somewhere in the Pacific and once there he joined the Initiative (Dharma) all with the hope of getting back to 1977 and the big game.

Personally I do not have access to the crystals but I do have access to a very nice outfit that allows for drifting between the genders and this type of migration has hit the proverbial time machine right smack in the head.  Let me explain.  A long time ago, for me that is, but for a redwood tree in Muir woods it was just a blink of the eye, I was taken to see a movie, at midnight.  This movie was a tutorial of sorts based on an experimental approach toward stepping outside the box we sometimes refer to as the ‘human condition’.  All of this information allowed individuals, upon careful study, to expand their awareness of the horizons and…, time, using a type of warp drive.  More to the point it espoused the ability to migrate between physical appearances.  It also described the problems faced by those loaded with inventive ambitions, striving for new inventions so to speak, to get waylaid by interference from the established norms. 

Anyway, I went to the seminar/movie and like most good presentations it allowed for questions/answers/comments from the audience.  It also provided a basic floor plan for those dreaming of moving in this direction.  It is, after all, Just a Jump to the Left, and a step to the right, then you put your hands on your hips and…  I am not sure if it is best for me to describe the entire seminar here, but needless to say, I learned.  I also learned how to don the perfect outfit for migration, the same outfit worn by the Doctor giving the demonstration and then I told my parents what I was up to.  Instead of being supportive when they saw my first attempts to move to Transylvania as I spouted the code words:  Don’t get strung out by the way I look, don’t judge a book by its…  My father ran to the bar.  My mother smiled politely and then began closing the curtains.  Not everyone was up for learning how to warp with time or visit far off exotic locals like Transsexual Transylvania.  But there I was, ready to go.  The only being my father had taken the keys when he left for the bar and the ambulance that drove his stupefied, alcohol soaked body home then drove me to the ‘clinic’. 

My parents let me come home when I promised to return the special Transylvania attire back to the scientific display and specialty paraphernalia store in which I bought it and; I had to promise to never again wear stilettos.   So for years I had to hide, in the closet, never daring to peak out while in the Hot-Patottie like trance I would fall into darkness, Drinking those moments when….  Instead I had to pretend to be happy as I studied science according the three dimensional curriculum of the day. 

Then I got married.  The reception was held in the backyard of my fiancée’s parent’s house, and the music was DJ’d by an old friend named Mr. R. Raff, someone who had obviously done a little seminar/movie teaching way back when.  And just like that the TIME WARP was once again ringing in my ears.  Luckily I had managed to wear my Transylvanian outfit underneath that drab but classic wedding attire.  Of course this was going to be for later in the evening, after all, like the trained scientist I had become, I planned to embellish that special wedding evening with some ‘outside the box’ exposure.  Now, as the music played, I could control myself no longer and as I danced down to my transsexual undergarments…, the police came and closed the place down.  Apparently the neighbors were listening in, and watching with voyeuristic intension.

Years later the kids came, and grew up, and then the internet came, and grewup, and then information loads became information overloads and everything was moving into new, uncharted territories and so once again I got out my old outfit just to see if it would ‘fit in’, in the modern age.  And..., I came out of the closet again (first time since my wedding night) with my well worn symbolic gesture to the ideals of multi, multi-cultural sweet transgressions and what happens?  My teenage son runs away and my wife smiles as she closes the curtains.  Talk about being in the Time Warp.   Now, I did Skype my daughter who is away at college and very much into all the new music being thrown around and I asked for her opinion, but after I stood up and showed her the outfit the internet connection somehow gave out.

Luckily the dog still talked to me and she showed her appreciation for my efforts by retrieving the outfit when I tossed it aside and then proceeded to chew it up.  When she was finished she burped and went out of the room, wagging her tail.

Saverio Monachino's writing style has been termed by some as 'Kurt Vonnegut meets Mark Twain'.  Saverio describes it as 'comic fiction noir'. Regardless of the terms used, he is attempting is to use humor to open the door to serious discussion.  You can find Saverio Monachino on www.comicfictionnoir.com.