Is There a Reason They Put the Coliseum Over There?

Hi, I’m Evolving, are You?

Many years ago…, now wait, I should say; many, many years ago Herodotus conducted his research, wrote it down, et voilà, we now have the product of his ‘investigation’.  That is, an historical account of The Persian War.  At this point the long-standing debate on the nature of history as an art or a science arises, since presentation of the results of investigation, which cannot be formulated in strictly scientific terms necessarily, involves the problem of form and interpretation (so says Mr. Godolphin in introduction to Herodotus’ work translated by George Rawlinson).  In other words, where do the facts fall off in the literary composition of history and the opinions begin?  For this present study that is irrelevant.  What is more to the point is…, well first, have you read the book? 

The point is thus; how far have we, as a species, evolved since Herodotus wrote The Persian War?   To address this question, let us, like the derivation of the word ‘history’ do some research.  One place to start is in the Coliseum.  Of course this is springtime in the eastern reaches of the USA but stay with me for a moment and pretend it is a warm sunny afternoon in the fall and you, along with approximately 50,000 screaming maniacs are in a spiritual frenzy as the gladiators knock each other to the ground until one or more of them cannot get up due to a protruding bone that had broken the surface causing blood to squirt out upon the manicured stomping grounds.  You, and the other fans, rise from your seats to show appreciation for the carnage of battle below and in so doing perform ‘the wave’.

Of course American football is not just about the body count, it encompasses so much more, like character(s).  Character(s) being those who have so much to give, such as their body and soul, to the advancement of the legion as it musters for yet another encounter with the barbarians from the north, or south, or east or…    “Win one for the Gipper!” rings out often today, in a modernized rendition of course, as it did for Ronald Reagan when he whispered that famous line to Knute and hence the Irish had a slogan, a brand on which they could hang their hats and…, sell more season tickets.  Of course today, with text messaging and photo sharing you can embellish the fighting words with a few extra particulars like “want to score one with the gipper after the game?” or “how old are you…, really?”

Sorry, I digressed.  Now, back to Herodotus.  If one takes a generalized overview of the work it becomes clear that, in relation to today’s information age, there are some deficiencies in the historical technique he used, some questions about the literary style, and amazement with the notion that he may have accidentally preserved facts, but one solid and important achievement stands out in the work.  He has succeeded once and for all in expressing the conflict between the ideal of the free man defending his autonomy and basing his state on the rule of law, and those who base their rules on force (or political ideology) and whose subjects have the status of slaves (or worse, lemmings).   Does this sound familiar in any way?

If one digs down deeper into the text of Herodotus familiarity becomes blazingly evident as line for line the written word can be pulled and used to supplant or augment content in today’s reports on politics, military events, domestic and foreign relations, and…, the list goes on.  Can you find out how we have changed if the ideas, the methods and the stratagems are no different today than they were in 500 B.C.? 

Yes some things have changed, or so we think.  Take for example male cheerleaders.  Did they have male cheerleaders when the Olympic Games were first held in 776 B.C.?    Now, don’t get me wrong, cheerleading can be good, or fun to watch when they use poles to dance with, but male dancers…, sorry, cheerleaders?  Did Darius have male cheerleaders, did Xerxes?  Probably not, Eunuchs yes, but cheerleaders, I don’t think so.  I mean who would want to watch a bunch of young men bouncing up and down and clapping like, well, like sea lions.  Now they do get to grab the female cheerleaders in their private regions demonstrating public displays of…, investigation.  That type of cheering can get you on youtube, or some other file sharing sites on the internet, right, and that is not too bad for extroverts is it.

Now, no matter how much we believe that we have changed, we do still go to the Coliseum to watch the gladiators.  Only now we do it with digital cameras linked to our telephones which give us instant internet access so that we can type text messages to anyone and everyone if we are ‘followers’ or ‘friends’ or can’t sit still long enough to think of the second line of the sonnet because the first line has been analyzed by the net-based news reporting group who quickly thrust the next topic front and center while we cheer our favorite team and watch the OMG feeds that state exactly what our texts should say in response to the opposing quarterbacks tryst with the news reporter from places too far away to visit because we must go shopping for clothes, on line.   And as the next body falls you have to stop and think, turn to the person closest to you who serves as your mate for the day and ask…, “are we routing for the “Lions” or the Vikings?” 

Fortunately the mate in question also has instant access and gives you the lowdown…, “well the bookies say that we should bet on the Vikings, but my guy on the inside says that Nero has his money on the…".

Saverio Monachino's writing style has been termed by some as 'Kurt Vonnegut meets Mark Twain'.  Saverio describes it as 'comic fiction noir'. Regardless of the terms used, he is attempting is to use humor to open the door to serious discussion.  You can find Saverio Monachino on www.comicfictionnoir.com.

Softly, Deftly, Music Shall Caress You

I liked this description of my 'night out' with the wife so much I am posting it here and on my TBI blog.

Hear it, Feel it Secretly Possess You

I am sure that most people will agree; the best dates, the ones you really enjoy, are usually those for which you have no preconceived expectations, you just sit back close your eyes and let “the music of the night” take you …  Yes that is right, we went to see the Phantom of the Opera and without doubt it was the best date my wife and I have been on for a long, long time.  

 What made the show that much more special, that much more enjoyable was the entire ensemble was, without doubt worth their weight in gold. High School students usually are.  It was just last summer that the announcement was made: Andrew Lloyd Weber released the rights to perform “Phantom of the Opera”.   My son’s high school (North Hunterdon) was one of the first in a long, long line of colleges and other high schools that had been waiting…, dreaming…, for a chance to

Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar

And you live as you’ve never lived before

Only in this case they sang as I’ve never heard before in a High School performance.  I would not be surprised if each and every lead awoke on Broadway tomorrow, to standing ovations because the ovations they received when I saw the show were true, after each and every song.

My hat is off to the North Hunterdon High School Theater Organization and to Mrs. Meo for any arm twisting she had to do to get the school behind her and go after the license.  And that of course was only the beginning of her efforts as director.  Luckily help was there from all angles, too numerous to remember if I didn’t have a copy of the program sitting nearby.  Kudos to all of the school and support staff and parents, and the student interns as well as the cast and stage crew.  Getting the singing, dancing, acting, stage props and of course the chandelier in place and on time was…, well it was a work of art.  I have heard many different voices performing these songs in the past but never will I forget the cast on opening night, Taylor, Nicole, Stephen, Michelle, Andrew and all the rest.  Congratulations.

All I had to do was sit back, close my eyes and listen as …

Softly, deftly, music shall caress you

Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you

Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind

In this darkness that you know you cannot fight

The darkness of the music of the night

Musical theater can make for a very memorable date, especially when you are sitting next to your wife, holding hands wiping tears away from each other’s eyes as each emotional song was executed to perfection, and of course thinking of our son Paul who, as assistant director, helped put this work of art in front of our eyes.

To Leak or Not to Wikileak, that is the question.

What is a little leak amongst friends?

Just the other day I took a little leak, and with a weak bladder that is a weaki-leak, right?  So what, you ask, ya gotta go, ya gotta go. And that basically was my take on things as well.  I had to go, so I went.  I didn’t try for a secret release, but then again I wasn’t trying to go public either.  Needless to say I was caught by a very smart assed little guy who ran to the owner of the house and well…, he leaked too.  My neighbor didn’t like the news.

“What in the name of everything right are you doin’ on my grass,” he slurred.

“What the hell are you upset about,” I responded, trying to make him see that my mistake landed just to the left of his property, “This is my yard, and in the name of everything usual, my dog pisses on your lawn all the time.  Why don’t you get mad at her?”

“And she craps on it too…” he added as he took out a dog biscuit and fed my dog.

Well this started a heated debate about the balance of nature.  Like when my dog leaves a small excrement of her own in someone’s yard, but eats well over half her body weight in deer poop which way is the ecological balance shifting?   Now don’t get me started on the problem of natures natural wrecking machines.  You know what I’m talking about, no matter what I plant the deer eat it, and then leave fertilizer for next year’s crop.  And now we can talk about the overpopulation problem too.  As in; there are too many deer in our neighborhood.  I mean how in the world can there be more deer in New Jersey now than when the state was first populated by Europeans?  It must have something to do with that damn state sponsored low income housing mandate.  But I wont get into that discussion right now, it’s too political. 

Anyway, just like that, the argument with my neighbor moved off of my own problem with leaking things out of my hidden vault before I could even get my fly up and onto other things that had been in all of the headlines, if anyone actually read those anymore.  In this state of current events discussion it is always advantageous to argue with a neighbor after they’ve had their aperitif(s), and my neighbor definitely had all of his.

You know the first thing that was on his mind, besides my watering his flowers (which I wasn’t, it landed on my property and later I will take my damn surveyor’s map over to his house and if he doesn’t give me some of whatever he was drinking I’ll shove the whole thing…, oh, where was I.  Yes, I remember, it was that bit about GOOGLE sending all their assets off sore to avoid taxes. Well, that neighbor of mine he starts telling me about how his investment in Google had done very well to date, in fact he may soon be moving to a house at the top of the hill, and then he lets me know that Google is doing the right thing, avoiding those stupid corporate taxes and growing their business and all I can do is try to calculate how many US companies have parked their money off shore, and then add in the number of rich people who do the same and after using some fractal geometry (kudos to Benoit Mandelbrot, he was a pioneer), I am able to recalculate the oft misinterpreted dept relationship to the GDP as it should be if those very large companies actually paid taxes. 

My neighbor wasn’t interested in lowering his taxes for some reason.  I think it is because he is trying to get his app (app is short for application, like if you are making a request for money, or approbate, if you like something, or aperitif if it is late in the afternoon) bought by Google or some other such conglomerate.

Anyway, as the dog sat in his yard looking for sticks and deer poop without having to move anymore (a full stomach will do that to a dog) the conversation/argument turned to other news, like how both the Democrats and the Republicans are already claiming victory in the latest round of elections.  Of course the elections are still over a week away so perhaps these are prognostications instead of claims?  Or, as the Druids might say, “we prophesized that one, eh?”  So does this mean that our elected officials are Druids?  Do Druids float?  We can always try that ‘witches’ trial thing from Monty Python on them now, can’t we.  On the elected officials, not the Druids, and see if they…, Sorry I digressed again. 

Another hot topic of the day was about the little Wiki guy who likes to take leaks, or is that he likes to take your leaks for you.  And on this topic my neighbor gave me an earful again for leaking on his grass because in English it is so hard to grasp the correct connotation of words with multiple uses.  And me, I just wanted to catch the little tweeter who gave me away, I’ll, I’ll take my next one a little closer to his home. 

Anyway this Wiki guy gets on TV for taking a leak and then some of those who, like my neighbor don’t like this type of activity, start to harangue, oh, the shame, the shame.  Leave him alone because he, like me, has an active bladder.

Now apparently WikiLeaks was established way, way back in 2006 by a guy named Julian Assange, "a male with a near genius IQ" say some.  According to a major newspaper that seems to have a penchant for listing a bit to one side of the political view and reports its news that way as well, this male Assange redefined "whistle-blowing” as he gathered up all the whistles in the neighborhood and then published his own map which details how to find a whistle.  In doing this he gathered up everyone’s stuff, hid them beyond the reach of parents and others determined to retrieve them, then releases the map instantly, and globally, to watch the return on his investment pour in (read: advertisement and ‘charitable’ donations).

Now, now, Mr. Genius IQ, do you know “War is Hell” (I wish I had made that one up).  That phrase unfortunately is very, very true.  And if this male near genius IQ had paid attention in school he would have learned this.  If he cared about the information he is disseminating it might serve him well to actually read his history books.  War is hell, always has been, and it has been going on for quite a while.  Does Mr. Assange know that recent problems in the Middle East aren’t really recent, and to put a time frame into play well, the dawn of recorded history would be needed?  Can he please leak that information?  But, if one takes a more focused view of turbulent times then the time frame in question encompasses the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire after WWI.  But he must have known this, everyone does.  And in the same manner, if one reads a report on battlefield casualties, well, everyone knows that you have to add a multiplier or two because, well here we go again; War is Hell.

If Mr. Assange wanted to do something really New and really Different then he would steal the whistles from all sides conducting the argument du jour.  If a man likes to leak as much as Mr. Assange says he does, then let us see him leak that tidy bit of Balanced reporting.  Oh, there is an article or two from his latest stolen pile which tells that yes, the other side is causing some problems as well, but lets face it, he really is just leaking on one side of the situation without putting the geopolitics into perspective.  Can Mr. Assange tap into the data bases of, say…, Iran, or China, or heck maybe one or more of those countries in South Asia that likes to leak on their neighbors as they stool on their populace?  Wouldn’t that be a real nice thing?  After all WikiLeaks is a not-for-profit media organization with a goal of bringing important news and information to the public.  Now, if they only leak on one side of the story what makes them different from an organization with a particular political twist?  Let us see if the near genius IQ guy has male cajones and gets info from ALL sources.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  And different?  Yes it would be different, one might even say unique, and very interesting, and one would probably have to be a genius to do that.  Now, if he spent his time trying to figure a way to bring education to the suppressed masses in these countries, well that would be nice too, and genius.

 Wiki-leakies tell everyone that they provide an innovative, secure and anonymous way for sources to leak information to the company journalists.  But why have we not heard of any news that one skilled in art (read: able to discern information from input data without needing a tell all book) didn’t already know, like from other sides of the conflicts that aren’t occidental in origin?  Or better yet, an explanation of the last season of LOST.  Did they die in the crash in season one, or die after the bomb goes off at the end of season five?   

But again, I digress, the blame really is on the intelligence communities who have no trouble finding where the male Assange lives, but still cannot find that bin Laden guy.

“Don’t worry,” says Jim Gaffigan, “there is a bunny.”

Saverio Monachino's writing style has been termed by some as 'Kurt Vonnegut meets Mark Twain'.  Saverio describes it as 'comic fiction noir'. Regardless of the terms used, his attempt is to use humor to open the door to serious discussion about very important human issues.  You can find Saverio Monachino on www.comicfictionnoir.com.

Saverio buried a bunch of key words in this particular blog like the title of his book; By Any Means.  He also threw in a bunch of other key words like thriller, murder, mystery, traumatic brain injury, comic, Canada, detective, author, artist, philosophical, writer, intrigue, fiction books, human condition, see if you can find them.  If you can’t don’t worry, in today’s age of ‘linking’, no document is complete until you follow the links.  Try it.

How’s the weather?

How's the weather?  That seems like and easy question, right?  A good way to start a conversation or exchange pleasantries with someone you don't know as you pass them on the street, “Hey, how’s the weather?”  Very simple, very neat, very efficient.

And usually simple responses will fill the air, mostly aimed at avoiding further conversation.

“Nice.”  Or,

“It sure is warm today.”  Or,

“Wet, real wet.”

Some people aren’t really sure and let you know, “Humid, I think.”

Others are darn sure, “Shitty.”

Some like to hedge their bets, "Not to bad,” or

“Not to good.”

Then there are some in another dimension, “Tomorrow, tomorrow, it'll be sunny tomorrow, it's only a day away.”

You also invariably come across the person who cannot answer a question without asking one, “Today?” And this throws a little confusion into the mix, so you counter the returned question with, “What do you mean Today? How can the weather be today?”

“That’s what I asked you.  Do you want to know how the weather is today?”
And this of course was not the time trap discussion you wanted when asking the simple question in passing.  So your tone gets a little less polite, “Well hell yeah that’s what I mean!”

Which causes what appears to be a non sequitur to emerge from the other end of the conversation, “Kiss my ass.”

And the list can go on and on.  But if one stops for a moment and gives it some thought, the question 'How is the weather', also, in a microcosm, exemplifies that which leads to so much trouble.  That is; differences in opinion.  Again, passing someone on the street, or beginning a conversation on the phone will get you the quick, defined response.  But as Gandlalf says (paraphrased); "What exactly does ‘Good Morning’ mean?  Is it a morning in which the weather is fine, or a morning in which you have been good?"  And if the rhetoric depends on the tone of voice, try it in Chinese.

So, is the weather condition a matter of opinion too, or just the meteorological readouts?  As in, if the sun is shining bright is it a good day for a tanning session?  Now that does depend on several variables, like climate, one’s opinion, and the human condition itself.  For example, if asked, ‘How is the weather’, on a bright sun-filled day one needs to quickly add in the temperature, barometric pressure, geographic location and the mental condition of both parties as one can see in the following scenario. 

In this example two friends are enjoying standing outside in the sunshine when the one leaning left turns to the other and says, “I think I will try for an all over tan…”

“You mean?” His friend, who is slightly more to the right, asks.

“That's right, I’ll just strip right down to my undies and…,” After all, what can one say if they don’t have a bathing suit handy? 

“You have no suit!” the right leaner slurs at his friend, finally finishing his statement from the precdeing line.

“I’m using the next best thing, right,” the lefy spats over at the man to his right who was still leaning in that direction.

The one incredulous on the whole topic of stripping down to underwear has to ask, “Here?”

“Why not?”

“Well, I guess my concern is, well,” before finishing he has to slurped a bit of drool back into his mouth and then remember what he wanted to say, “it has to do with all the people.” 

“I’m an exhibitionist, what can I say.”  Truth be told, he wasn’t really an exhibitionist unless he had a bit too much to drink, which he had.

“And the traffic…”

“Oh yeah, there are a lot of cars, I see your point, it might be dangerous, someone zooming by and getting distracted by my dangling participle thing…”

The less inebriated of the two continues trying to dissuade his buddy as first one piece of clothing, then another, hits the ground, “Perhaps it would be better to go to a beach or something like that?”

Then, like a bolt of lighting on a clear sunny day like it was, the half naked man begins to rethink his situation, “You know what, I think I’ll wait for the weather to warm up a bit.  Do you mind picking up my coat?  It is cold as shit out here and I really must put it back on."  Then, remembering one more thing he continuces, "Do you have any more beer?”

 Sunbathing itself depends upon the degree of sunshine, the external temperature, the LOCATION (usually) and then the individual involved.  How many of the older crowd needs to pay homage to the sun on a routine basis?  Live in a warmer climate, sure, but cover up with layer after layer of sun block and then sit in it for hours at at time like teenagers…, well maybe a lot of them do.  So the question then becomes is it better to bathe in the sun in the South of France or some shore point in New Jersey. 

And this brings one to an even more philosophical type question, “What do you like to look at?”

“Don’t worry,” says Jim Gaffigan, “there is a bunny.”

Saverio Monachino's writing style has been termed by some as 'Kurt Vonnegut meets Mark Twain'.  Saverio describes it as 'comic fiction noir'. Regardless of the terms used, his attempt is to use humor to open the door to serious discussion about very important human issues.  You can find Saverio Monachino on www.comicfictionnoir.com.

Saverio buried a bunch of key words in this particular blog like the title of his book; By Any Means.  He also threw in many other key words like thriller, murder, mystery, traumatic brain injury, comic, Canada, detective, author, artist, philosophical, writer, intrigue, fiction books, and human condition.  See how many of them you can find them.  If you can’t find them all, don’t worry, in today’s age of ‘linking’, no document is complete until you follow the thread.  Try it. 

How to have your dog take you for a walk

            The dog’s name is Maple, or érable if you want the original language.  Of course before ‘érable’ became Maple she was t’errible.  Some might say feisty but to me, well, she had acute ADHD.  “Don’t panic,” the wife says, “I’ll take her for training.”  Now, they are both infected with ADHD.  Good thing the dog has slowed down a bit over time, the wife, well she keeps on ticking, and kicking. 

When I write for some reason I am in need of help filling out character personalities, so to make it easy for myself I just add in those I know, like érable.  But when I’m not writing I’m walking, as in, the dog.  Nice on a sunny fall afternoon, much worse any other time.  But don’t worry, she is a well trained hound, so I was told.  All she does is sniff whatever smells extremely bad, and if it smells extremely, extremely bad, she eats it.  Or rolls in it, or barks at it, and occasionally does number two, which means I have to carefully scoop the number two up and place it into a nice neat carryall device until I can either dispose of it in my own personal garbage can, which in New Jersey we pay a steep price for weekly collection, or better, if no one is looking, deep into one of the neighbors yards. 

Now, if the dog isn’t rolling, or sniffing, or eating, or pooping, well then she, like the wife, is socializing.  They did go to the same school after all.  And man can she gossip, and sniff all the private parts, and beg, and get people to stroke her the right way, and of course get treats fed her by the neighbors so our home dietary plan goes out the window, and get pet some more, while all I can do is watch and wait.  Sorry, I digress.  Now was I talking about taking the dog for a walk or how I have to keep the wife company when she goes to the mall.  Life can get confusing at times.

            Of course walking the dog does get one lots of exposure to the lives of those who live nearby.  The dog lovers are obvious.  They are always outside, rain or shine, waiting for the princess dog to pass by so they can pay homage and give her dog biscuits or beef jerky if they want to make me really jealous.  And as they stroke the beast they give me the unabridged story of their daily adventure since the previous evening's discourse.  I, of course, now have a running chronology up to and including the day before, of each and every one who awaits the daily return.  But then there are the others too, those shy introverted inhabitants who prefer to keep their comings and goings quiet.  Those who one has to work to get gossip on, if one wasn't standing outside listening to the neighbors as they pet the dog.  So this too, like the dog biscuits, is force, which means the truth, if desired must be carefully extrapolated from what we do see and hear.

            In this regard one does have to sift through the incoming streams of information to set aside conjecture from fact.  After all, what do we really know about the man who lives alone and his backyard is hidden by a rather high solid fence?  He may not really be holding ritualistic Druid summer and winter solstice pageants, though there does appear to be a lot of hot tub use on certain days of the month that coincide with the owner’s craigslist blast solicitation for help cleaning his bedroom.  Those dates usually coincide with payday, and while bedroom is in the query advance, most of the hard work seems to be spent, as mentioned, in the hot tub as the neighbors listen to them…, well no one can really say what they do back there, after all, there is no definite evidence for the practices and doctrines held by the druids – so, in reality we know virtually nothing of certainty about them. 

            But linking their philosophy to the ‘immortal’ nature of a man's soul is not something to take lightly.  After all, many religions originating in different geographic locals also bring the Pythagorean doctrine into play. 

Whatever that means I don’t know, but I do know that I am still pissed.  The last time the dog and I passed by the craigslist frequenting man the dog got a biscuit but I, try as I would, did not get an invitation to the next solstice celebration.

“Don’t worry,” says Jim Gaffigan, “there is a bunny.”

Saverio Monachino's writing style has been termed by some as 'Kurt Vonnegut meets Mark Twain'.  Saverio describes it as 'comic fiction noir'. Regardless of the terms used, his attempt is to use humor to open the door to serious discussion about very important human issues.  You can find Saverio Monachino on www.comicfictionnoir.com.